As the big start date approaches, I’m getting more and more nervous. I also realize how much I need to trust God as I still have a lot of money to raise and a lot of questions left unanswered. Trusting God is something that is a simple concept, yet so hard to do. I hear people often say, “Oh, just put your trust in God.” When I hear that, I think to myself JUST trust him!?!?!? Why is trusting the creator of the Universe so hard to do? He has only proven himself to be loving and just. He has proven that he has our best interests in mind. So why should we hold back parts of our lives that should be his?
Marriam-Webster defines trust as: a belief that someone or something is reliable, good, honest, effective, etc. Now, I go through that list and I’m certain God fits all of those qualities, even the mystery filled “etc.” I think the hard part of trust, however, is not being in control.
I hate not being in control. I can’t be the only one. When we lose control of a situation, isn’t the only thing LEFT to do is trust in God? Maybe us losing control of certain situations is just God nudging us and gently saying “Trust me.” Do we? I know I don’t. No, even with situations far from my control, I still tend to hold on to a situation by worrying about it. Oh, how the worry consumes my already worry filled mind. That brings me back to trust, because isn’t worry just a lack of trust?
God clearly says he wants us to trust him, that he is in control, and that we should not worry. Yet, we so often forget these things when situations arise that we are passionate about. That passion quickly can turn sour when we don’t give aspects of the situation to God. From things as small as driving to things as large as performing a triple bypass surgery, so much is out of our control. We need to trust God that he is going to do His will in the situation.
With that said, this Mission School thing is coming up faster than I expected. I have plenty of things I need to be trusting God with. First of all, finances are a big thing I need to trust him with. Yes, I do have to put in the work to fundraise, but ultimately whether I get the money or not is God’s decision and I have to TRUST that it is His will. Second, there are tons of questions that are left unanswered that I need to trust Him with. Stuff as small as, “Will we need furniture?” to things as big as, “Will I be able to do the school and go to intensive therapy for my illness?” Things like this are completely out of my hands, yet I still worry. That habit needs to stop. There is nothing more satisfying than laying your burdens at Jesus feet and saying, “Your will be done.”
I’m free. I no longer am burdened with worry. Christ is holding onto me and this Mission School. He knows exactly what lies ahead and knows how I will best serve him. How exciting is that? I know I’m excited for the future not worried about it. Are you?