I grew up in an extremely loving, Christian home. I feel very blessed to have grown up in a place where I heard God’s word daily and was shown who he was. My parents were and are great examples for me in the faith. When I was younger, I attended a Christian elementary and middle school. I learned about God’s word daily. The problem was my heart. As I grew older, the bible became more like homework to me than reality. I knew the facts but I never had the relationship with him. That’s why when I entered high school I struggled so much.
In high school I was hit from every side. Having a firm knowledge of the bible I knew what was right and wrong, but I fell into temptation because I didn’t know the creator. I had low self esteem and just wanted people to like me. That’s why I rebelled a little bit in high school. I hung out with the wrong crowd and did a lot of things I today regret. I still went to the church I grew up in, but I really didn’t understand what it meant to be a follower of Christ at this point in my life. I compromised myself. I started cutting and became very depressed.
When I got to college, my first week as a freshman shook me to the core. It was a new place, in a new environment, with new people. I hated everything about it. I felt alone. I was alone. That’s when my RA told me about a group on campus called His House. I knew it was a Christian group so I thought I’d give it a try. That’s when God took hold of me and shook my beliefs to the core. He not only gave me great friends and a community at school, he also showed me who he was and what grace TRULY meant. I met people who were living examples of Jesus Christ. They showed me what it meant to be a follower of Jesus. They lived out what they believed and I wanted what they had. I continued to learn about God and grow in my faith. Two years later, I was baptized in Lake Michigan and Christ claimed me to be his own. He proclaimed a relationship with me that I had long ago left sitting on the sidelines in my life. Christ claimed ME to be his child not because of anything I did, but because of what HE did for me on the cross. He signed the adoption papers. He made me his beloved child. He claimed me as his Bride.
“I am my Beloveds and he is mine” Song of Songs 6:3
This is the time in my life when I was on fire for Christ. I was so joyful about what he did for me, I could do nothing else but tell others about him. God never promised life would be easy as his follower, however. My depression still never went away.
I honestly don’t know how I would have survived this far without Christ. This past year has been one of the worst of my life. My depression consumed me. I got so bad I started contemplating suicide daily. I tried to kill myself multiple times and have spend months in the Hospital. It has been such a long and hard journey but I’m a survivor. CHRIST is saving me. He gave me a great doctor, good medications, and awesome people to support me.
Now I am at Bridge Street Mission School. God is teaching me something new every single day. I’m learning and growing so much. My medication is keeping me safe and Jesus is healing me from the inside out. I’m able to use my abilities and talents to serve God even more!
I have such a heart for serving other people. As I have struggled with depression, I have developed a deeper understanding of the human condition. I understand a level of pain most people can’t even comprehend. I believe God has blessed me with this knowledge so that I can help others in their pain. My heart breaks for those who are broken. This gives me purpose. It gives me hope. Through Christ, I have a purpose, I have worth. I want to share this hope with others even more now, because honestly, I wouldn’t be alive without it.