I’ve been pondering these past couple days. Besides Christmas shopping, I really haven’t had much else to do. So as I’ve thought and pondered I’ve come to several conclusions. I will do my best to communicate them to you. Although, I’ll have you know, I’m mainly writing this blog post to process through some of what I’ve pondered. With that said, I think what I’ve been thinking about is important enough to share with my readers.
The thing I’ve thought about is depression. I have been at battle with it for awhile now and I am doing so much better then I have been in a long time. The reason I’ve been thinking about depression, however, is the stigma I still face because of it. There is such a stigma behind mental illness. It’s the sick persons fault is normally the case. However, this is far from the truth. Depression and other mental illnesses aren’t our fault. It is my fault, however, how I respond to my illness. I can either claim it as my own and give it power over me or I can recognize it for what it is, a disease, that I have the power to fight. You see, I used to claim to be depressed. I no longer give it that power. Now, I say I have depression. See the difference? A person battling cancer doesn’t say they are cancer, that would be silly. Instead, they say they have it. And like cancer, depression is a disease, not me.
When I was in the pit of my depression, I stumbled across this quote, “Depression is like a war. You either win, or die trying.” When I was so low, I thought for sure I was losing the battle. I thought the war was almost over and I would be one of its casuleties. Now that I’m doing better, I know I’m winning. Not by my own strength but with God’s.
Recently, something terrible hsppened. Something I thought would make me lose the war. But it didnt. I’m alive. I’m even happy. How can this be? Well the thing is, I have something to live for. Something that gives me hope and a future. And HE is the love of my life. Jesus Christ.
All that said, I’m alive and well and THAT my friends, is something even I have to be happy about.