“That is all I want in life: for this pain to seem purposeful.”
― Elizabeth Wurtzel

This quote is one that has stuck with me throughout my depression.  It has a different meaning to me now than it did at the begining however.

When I used to reflect on this quote, I would do so in despair, misery.  I would cry out to the God I love and pray that he would take the pain away or use it for his glory. 

Today, as I reflect back on this quote, I think about how everything that I went through.  I think about everything I’m still going through.  I remember how everything has drawn me closer to Christ and how it all has increased my testimoney to his faithfulness.  The way I look at it, this quote is not HopeLESS but HopeFUL.  As it relates to my depression, the pain is purposeful. 

This quote relates to my time here in guatemala, too.  On Friday,  I saw probably one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to see.  As I reflect on that experiance, I think about all the pain that they are in.  Is their pain purpousful?  I believe yes.  God never intended for them to live in pain, but he does have a plan for all of our lives.  It is important to remember that  God loves us and uses our hardships for his glory.  He brings beauty from the ashes. 

This last week has brought fourth in me many smiles and many tears.  Through it all,  I’ll remember God is faithful through and through.