There is a lot I could say about brokenness. It is something everyone has to deal with as we live in this broken and fallen world. It is the reason we need a Savior. It’s something that I have allowed to consume my life and that, my friends, is not okay.
As you may have read in my prior blog post, on Friday February 27th, I attempted to take my own life. Although I can not pinpoint any specific reason I did this, the cause all leads back to brokenness. Things in my past and things in my present all caused me to crash and burn. This is not an excuse for what I did, however. There is no excuse for trying to take my life. I have hurt a lot of people, including my close friends and family. Although this isn’t the first time I’ve attempted suicide, it has had the most impact on my life.
I have written this blog post to officially announce that my leaders and I have decided that the mission school is not the healthiest place for me to be at this point in my life. They are sending me off so I can receive treatment and healing. This could mean a lot of different things in my future, but for right now, I am just taking it a day at a time.
My next reason for writing this post is to apologize to all my friends, family, and supporters. I know suicide is not the answer. I just need a lot of help in figuring out what is. Please know I love you all and hope you can forgive me. I never intended to hurt anyone except myself. Turns out, suicide hurts everyone.
I hope the title of this blog caught your attention. I hope you can forgive and support me as I enter into the next phase of my life. I will let you all know more later what that is, but for now, continue to pray as I will for you.