Two Voices

Thoughts, they haunt
Inside the empty soul
“Kill Her” it screams
Is there hope?
Living in misery
“God where are you now?”
Whispering softly in her ear
“I’m right here
One Screams; One Whispers
Both have something to say
Now she has chosen her lot
this life devastating
will turn and prosper
Stop the screaming
It has lost
She loves that whisper
“I’m here. I’m here.”

I wrote this poem while I was in the hospital for depression, anxiety, and suicide for the fifth time now, and hopefully the last. I just got out today. Something I have come to realize in myself is that God has empowered me with the strength to ignore the screaming thoughts of death in my head.  All I have to do is focus on his unfailing love. I’ve also learned coping skills that are incredibly helpful. They also made some changes to my medication list that seem to be helping a lot. The battle isn’t over, but I’m convinced I’ve won the war.

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