come back so i can say yes this time do it again now that i know what to call what you did
this time i’ll be ready i like it rough now and i’m done with romance i never met another man who loved me so much at first sight he had to hurt me to do it
This won’t be long. I have never really talked about my rapes. I really don’t plan on it now either.
This quote really struck a chord with me though. I had to share it. I felt this blog would be the most appropriate means to do so.
Rape is one of those things that is hard to explain. I also believe it is different for everyone. No matter what, it’s traumatic. So I can only speak for myself when I say as much as I hate the men who hurt me, this disgusting sense of longing also came right alone with it.
Not to be with the attacker really; though the quote above seems to suggest that. The longing I have experienced is different. My attackers made me into one thing, a body. Sometimes, I still wonder if that is all I am.
I ask the question to what extent do I have to degrade myself to have someone love me? I already know the answer. I’m fighting it. I’m slowly fighting it.
I know who I am and what I deserve. I just have to fight the infestation in my head.