Withdrawn: An Update

It  has been a long time since I last posted.  That is, it has been a long time by my standards.  I have still been writing, I have just chosen to keep it offline.  It is weird for me because I’m usually very open about everything, but recently, I decided I needed some time.  It has not just in my writing, but also in my personal life.  Being an extrovert my entire life, I never really have enjoyed being alone and withdrawn.  Maybe it has just been my time to slow down, or maybe it’s the fact I’ve been so sick, either way, my life has become a lot more withdrawn and I have enjoyed just being alone.

With that said, I have appreciated the social encounters that I have had recently.  Along with school, I have enjoyed seeing my church family both on Sundays and on Wednesday evenings for the Young Adult Ministry.  Last Friday, my Best Friend drove across the state to attend my birthday party.  Along with her, there were other great friends that showed up and made my day special.  I have been spending time with my parents both celebrating my birthday as well as getting ready for my brother’s wedding next Saturday.  He comes back to Michigan this Sunday for a break.  After their honeymoon, they will both move down to Missouri as he finishes his schooling. I haven’t had much of a love life myself.  That has been good, though.  It gave me time to heal and get over some of the hurt.  Recently, I have been talking to a wonderful man.  We are taking things very slow, but I know that he continually makes me happy. My favorite part of my day is when I get to talk to him.  My roommates have easily become my biggest advocates.  On my worst day’s they make me smile.  They are not just friends, they are truly my family.

School has been hard.  I love my classes this semester, but they are exponentially harder than some of my past classes.  It may be even harder just because I felt so sick for so long.  I’m finally starting to do a little better thankfully.  I’m starting back at Starbucks again.  I went in this Thursday for paperwork.  I’m excited to work for my old boss again.  She is such a wonderful person, mentor, and friend. Going back to work is scary, but I know that it will be such a wonderful opportunity.  I recently dropped the ball on some things that I needed to get done.  It scared me because I thought I royally screwed up my future.  Thankfully my Mom is nothing but supportive and has helped me realize other options I have.

Without saying too much, just know that my depression has been worse than it has been.  I’m alive and doing way better than I could be though.  That hope is really all that matters.  Depression sucks.  It sucks worse when you don’t have hope.

I know this hasn’t been my my most exciting blog post, but my life hasn’t really been that exciting.  But you know what? Maybe that’s a good thing.

One Reply to “Withdrawn: An Update”

  1. This came up on my FB memories today. Reading this a year after you wrote it brings tears to my eyes, and a wonder in my soul as to the “then” and your current “now”. Tears of an aching heart, but also of a very thankful heart. Love you always! ❤

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