It seems I have lost it again
I’ve lost it so many times before
Maybe I’m just not meant to have it
It is easily given but easily forgotten
I found it as an Easter egg hidden under a bush
I saw it light up the sky after a ball game
It has licked my face and wagged its tail
I have felt it’s soft kiss and warm embrace
How could I lose it?
Where can I find it?
Instead, I always know where to find pain
It’s hidden in corners, cupboards, and boxes.
It puts on a mask and pretends to be your friend
I’ve heard it yell insults and threats and curses
I’ve held it’s hand on a date to the movies
I was raped by it in a cheap motel room
I drank it down to forget
Oh I know where to find darkness
Darkness is easy to find.
It sits in my brain waiting for its day
It makes my heart bleed out on to my arms
It speaks to me telling me I shouldn’t be
I have found darkness.
But, where is happiness?